Dear Luke

Dear Luke,
I miss you. That’s the point of this whole thing. There’s no one in town I know, you gave us a place to go and I never said thank you for that. I argued and screamed, I slammed the door in your face. Only to fall back into your open arms and deep blue eyes. I miss your arms around me after I broke down, letting you in on my deepest secrets. I miss you calling me after a game, laughing your head off after a win of on the verge of tears after a loss. I miss the way you would tell me you loved me, late at night, when I was tangled in your arms, trying to catch my breath, after showing you just how much I loved you. Te way you would tell me I was the most beautiful girl in the world, even when I looked horrible, had my hair in a mess or smeared make up for the night before. I miss the heart so big, God wouldn’t let it live. I can still hear your laugh, taste your kiss and feel you next to me. I can’t leave this town, you are everywhere I look and I don’t want it all to disappear into obscurity. I wasn’t there to protect you; I could and should have been with you. I should have taken that window seat. I want to scream and yell but there is no to yell at. He is dead, you are dead. The truck came so fast, the flash, your scream, the pain in your eyes. I wanted to take it all away. I held your hand when the angles lead you in. The tears didn’t fall then, or in your parent’s arms, they fall now, as I write this letter you. I want to think I will get a response from you, that you will see how much I miss you and will appear on the front door so many memories took place. I still sleep in your shirt. No one else can but I can still faintly make out your scent. I wake up alone, your side of the bed, perfectly made. I look at the pictures of us, your blonde hair and blue eyes in contrast to my brown hair and brown eyes. The tears fall on the glass and the weight of the ring you gave me make it impossible to move my hand. I close my eyes to try and keep those dreaded tears away but your scream from that night takes their place and memories replay like a movie through my thoughts. My stops and I as God yet again to reunite us. You were supposed to be old and grey when he took from me, I was supposed to follow you a few months later. This pain and trance of mine weren’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to walk down a red aisle to you. We were supposed to have a white picket fence and diapers to change. We were supposed to wake up at two a.m. because it was “time”. You were supposed to hold my hand in that hospital room and wipe your tears when we heard her first cries. We were going to take her home and pamper her with everything a little girl could want. We would listen to her gibberish until she spoke her first word. When she turned two, we would buy her, her first pair of skates and take her to the pond. She was going to hold on to your calloused thumbs as you barely moved behind her. She would fall and tiny tears would roll down her face as her chin quivered. You would hold her close, to calm her down and kiss each little finger until she was ready to try again. Just like you did when you taught me to skate. We would watch her grow like the garden we planted in the back yard. Our life would have been better than one out of a storybook. But now all of our chances are gone and I feel like I should be gone too. If we complete each other , why am I still here? You are mine and I am yours, forever. I miss you Luke Schenn. The entire team does, your family does. We all want you back and it’s a harsh reality that we will never get you back. I never said thank you and now I will never a chance.
Love you forever and ever,
Ashleigh